


Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Comedy, F/M, Filk, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Love, Matchmaking, Parody, Singing, Song Parody, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Molly know how Remus really feels about Tonks long before he's confronted at the end of Half-Blood Prince. They confront him in the kitchen one night to reveal his true feelings. A song filk to "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen.</p><p>She thinks of ya<br/>Cause she loves ya<br/>And she wants to become your metamorphus girl</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

**Author's Note:**

> "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" filked to the tune of the same name by Queen
> 
> Originally filked September 2005

_SCENE: Arthur and Molly Weasley, who have long ago found out the Remus/Tonks ship before most everyone else on page 624 U.S. and 582 U.K., and even before HBP, confront Remus about his denied feelings for Tonks whilst he is in their kitchen and no one else (except Bill and Fleur) is around._  
  
 **ARTHUR:**  
We have seen the look that's in your eyes  
When she's near you  
How you look when she must say goodbye  
 **MOLLY:**  
Plus we've heard her words of lonely cries  
And we fear you  
Might just let your lovelife pass right by  
  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
Ooh... love  
Ooh... lover boy  
We know she's your world  
Hey boy  
She thinks of ya  
'Cause she loves ya  
And she wants to become your metamorphus girl  
  
 _(Bill and Fleur, who have been snogging on the couch, decide to add some background vocals to help Arthur and Molly's cause. Fleur, however, doesn't even really know what she's singing and is only doing it because Bill is.)_  
  
 **ARTHUR AND MOLLY:**  (and BILL and FLEUR)  
Ooh... tell her how you're feeling (go snogging, snogging)  
Ooh... 'cause we know your love's real (Oooh)  
Come on, it can't be denied  
Tell her how you feel inside  
Remus, come now you can't hide  
  
 **REMUS:**  (and ARTHUR and MOLLY)  
I'd like for you to now not talk about this (let's talk about this)  
'Cause I swear to you we'll never kiss  
  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
Ooh... love  
Ooh... lover boy  
 **REMUS:**  
I am not in love!  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
Sure, boy  
 **REMUS:**  
Too old for her  
Nymphadora  
So I'll assure ya we'd never have love or joy  
  
 _(He suddenly changes his tact and drifts off into dreamy fantasies of Tonks)_  
  
 **REMUS:**  (and ARTHUR, MOLLY, BILL, and FLEUR)  
But when she's with me  
All of it seems fine  
She's mine (You know you adore, want her yours...)  
When she speaks with me  
She so honestly  
Sees me, sees  _me_  
  
 _(He then realizes what he is doing and snaps out of it)_  
  
 **BILL:**  
Remus, don't you get it now  
Remus, you got it bad  
 **REMUS:**  
I will not say it  
'Cause I won't obey it  
Ain't her lover boy!  
  
 _(Bill and Fleur go back upstairs, but not before a few loud snogs so that Remus will take notice)_  
  
 **REMUS:**  
Spending time with her, it means nothing-  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY**  
We saw signs and we know that it means-  
 **REMUS:**  
-Although we-  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
-Everything.  
 **REMUS:**  
-May discuss about us quite briefly  
Even if she says she understands  
Lycanthropy  
That does not mean that we were meant to be!  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
But we know you are!  
  
 _(Again, Remus drifts off)_  
  
 **REMUS:**  (and ARTHUR and MOLLY)  
Ooh... Tonks (There he goes again)  
Ooh... oh that Tonks (Just like our good old fashioned lover boy)  
So it might be love  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
Yeah, boy  
 **REMUS:**  
But I promise you  
It won't go through  
That's because I'm a poor old werewolf-  
 **ARTHUR and MOLLY:**  
Not true!  
 **REMUS:**  
Lover boy


End file.
